Blogging from China- Rainbow World

It was really quite random.  I knew that I would be taking a Sabbatical in the Fall 2012 so when an email arrived in my box announcing the possibility of an educators’ tour to China sponsored by Emory University, I replied that I might be interested if it was going to take place after the Jewish holidays, we would not be flying on Shabbat…all the typical requests.  Over the course of six months, there was the occasional update…everything was tentative. I was beginning to think that it was going to fizzle.  Then came the announcement that everything was a “go” and I really could not think of a reason to back out.  My bucket list includes skydiving, jumping off the Stratosphere in Vegas, and learning Spanish; I had never even thought about China. 

Once committed, my doubts began to grow:  I would know nobody on the tour. How would I handle the hassles of being diabetic?  How would I manage the kosher aspect?   But I was in and there was no turning back.

My first introduction to the group was about a week before departure.  After meeting everyone, I realized that though this was billed as an educator’s trip, there were only three non-Emory University people that were going to China: me, the President of Holy Spirit, and his wife.  

Whatever the original intent might have been, I learned a lot from interacting with a unique group of individuals.   

·         Hong Li (actually it is really Li Hong- family names come first), our trip coordinator is a native of Beijing who currently serves as a Chinese language instructor at Emory.  When we took a rickshaw tour of old Beijing, we learned that every street has a common bath house- there is running water but no private lavatories.  (It was great for those of us with smaller bladders.)  This is where Hong grew up and where her mother stills lives.

·         Two of the our group members were black (Fun fact- both lived in Montana at the same time but did not cross paths) Ozzie works in the Provost’s Office and is responsible for diversity issues and Leilah, a Fulbright Scholar, administers to the needs of Emory University’s large foreign student population. 

·         One woman, who is gay and a native of Mississippi works with gender diversity; another woman is married to a Coptic Egyptian and works in university relations. 

·         The President of Holy Spirit, who I had only met once, is from England and his wife, who runs the independent study foreign languages department, is Italian. 

Our worlds intersected for that week and it was fascinating to hear the stories and viewpoints of people who came from diverse backgrounds.  The conversations were influenced by the immersion into Chinese culture.  When I mentioned how odd it seemed to see so many Caucasian models on Shanghai billboards, it led to a conversation regarding what is considered beautiful and what messaging did the advertisements make. Hong shared that there are Asian women who continue to have their eyelids altered. Many of the urban Chinese see the West as setting the standards for beauty.  Discussions ranged from religion to culture to values.   And sometimes, people just talked about their dogs (not my favorite discourse).

Stories unfolded in puzzle pieces…lots of commonalities and lots of differences.

For me personally, it was very different being the only Jewish participant.  I sat out the shopping in Shanghai because of Shabbat (but did skip a museum on Sunday to make sure I could support local Chinese businesses by purchasing brand name knock offs); was constantly having to ask questions about the food placed in front of me; and often found myself explaining Jewish ways.  The group was always respectful and supportive but there were times where I did feel my Jewishness in ways not typical to my daily routine.

I came away with a deeper appreciation of what America is all about and who I am.  We were black, white and Asian; gay and straight; old and young; Jewish, Catholic, and Protestant; born of British, Italian, Russian, Polish, Native American, Scottish, and African ancestries.  It was the quintessential melting pot.  When you view this against the backdrop of a nation made up of a 92% Han majority and where minorities tend to segregate themselves within their own provinces; you begin to understand the gift of diversity that our nation provides.  Crossing paths with so many different cultures and backgrounds leads to an appreciation of what others have to offer.  As our recent elections demonstrated, we are challenged to deal with divergent views while celebrating a common belief in the American dream.

What touched me most about China was my interactions with her people.  From the formal meetings with officials and university leaders discussing culture and opportunities; to the high school students worrying about college; and to university leaders concerned about parent expectations, natural resources and war;   I was constantly reminded of the fact that we are all a part of the Family of Man. 

I hope that there will come a day where we can all truly celebrate the richness that diversity brings and how much there is to learn from different cultures and peoples. 

You Don’t Know It’s Lost until It is Gone

Both my wife and I were planning to write about a recent experience we shared.  In a rare moment of lucidity, we decided to collaborate on the project- a new concept.

Last week, someone stole our memories. Lulled into a sense of security, the alarm was not set and our home was broken into in broad daylight.  Nobody was hurt and considering it was our teenage daughter who was first on the scene, we can only be thankful. 

The burglar was after jewelry, and went straight for the master bedroom where Judi’s valuables were available for convenient shopping on the top of the dresser.  He simply scooped out several handfuls of loot with little regard for what he grabbed.

The monetary value of the stolen items was not inconsequential.  But the real loss was in the sentimental worth.  Ironically the most valuable jewelry pieces, the family heirlooms, were safely hidden away.  It was the pieces Judi wore regularly that were taken.

Judi has a habit of buying jewelry when on vacation.  Practically speaking, those are the only occasions when she has time to make such purchases.  As a result, she had a great collection of jewelry from our many trips to Israel, along with a ring bought on an excursion to Chicago, an anniversary piece purchased by Stan for our 20^th, and a unique pewter item bought in Bath, England while on “holiday” with a friend.  All gone. 

The diamond anniversary pieces and pearl earrings from our wedding will be simple enough to replace.  But, the most heartache comes over the few items that belonged to the unsinkable Betty Taksar Marie Beiner.  The tiny marcasite earrings and small sapphire/gold ring were all ‘Betty-size”.  Every time Judi put them on, she thought about her.  Even if it was just for a second, memories of the family matriarch became a part of Judi’s day;  she loved having those sparkly physical reminders.  Gone.

It was not until the next day that Stan discovered that the gonif had also taken our inexpensive camera.  Why that?  For the burglar, it was just a whim to take a camera sitting out. For us, he stole five months of memories.

We hadn’t yet downloaded all of the photos.  There were some from our daughter’s high school graduation, her UGA orientation and her settling in to her first year in college.  We had had a great hardly seen/never met relatives vacation trip this past summer traveling to Baltimore, NYC and Boston.  We visited family, found some long lost cousins, and met one relative in his 80’s for the first time.  And we had great pictures…all gone.

We know it is just “stuff.”  One of Stan’s most powerful childhood memories came from a moment when Betty dropped a saucer in the home of a California cousin who was a Holocaust survivor.  It was a solitary keepsake that she had brought over from Europe- a singular memory of her childhood home.  The family was mortified when his cousin walked over to the cupboard, grabbed a dustpan and began cleaning it up.  With not an ounce of emotion, she explained that it was a thing.  Her memories were still intact.  But still….sometimes we count on those objects to remind us of things we shouldn’t forget but often do.

It feels like a poignant coincidence that we were robbed during the month of Elul. This is the season when we look back at the past year to recall, reflect and remember.  Visiting the graves of our loved ones is a common tradition, one that helps trigger memories.  It took us more than 24 hours to determine everything that had been stolen.  And each time Judi remembered an item, there was a trip or a person connected to it.  Those happy memories locked away in rings, necklaces, and memory cards are now somewhat tinged with sadness. 

Ultimately, we realize the value lies not in the thing itself, but in the memories evoked. 

So let us suggest another ritual for Elul:  Go through your things, while you still have them! Touch them, smell them, gaze at them and joyfully immerse yourself in the memories that otherwise might be forgotten.

- Stan and Rabbi Judith Beiner

This blog entry is also featured in The Atlanta Jewish Times.

Writing a Child's Script- Caution Alert to Parents and Educators

One thing you learn with the birth of a second child is that same mom, same dad, does not equal same kid- each one is unique unto him/herself.  I’ve seen my own children develop at their own pace.  The oldest chose not to read until the end of first grade - not because she couldn’t but she wouldn’t.  My youngest also showed no interest but her reasons turned out being related to learning challenges (I write this with her permission!).  We worried a lot about her future at that time. 

Nine years later, she has developed into a hard working student who will be taking on honors classes next year.  In part, it helped that she was self-motivated but I wonder what would have happened if the focus had been on what she could NOT do when she was younger instead of what she COULD do.  We were fortunate to be in an environment where she could test her own limits. 

As an educator, I have lost count of how many typically average smart children in middle school have become super stars in high school and college.  It took them longer for all the synapses to connect but when they did - WOW! 

It is one of the reasons why the conversations about not writing a child’s script for him/her come up often at our school.  If we had limited our late bloomers as they were developing, would they have achieved what they did?  True, there are certain courses in middle school that are leveled - Hebrew, Bible, and Math.  We do so out of recognition that, pedagogically, children develop their abstract and conceptual thinking skills at different rates.  But we also resist the notion to establish honors classes in middle school for Social Studies, English, Spanish and other core areas.  Rather we treat each subject as an honors class and challenge students to rise to our levels of expectation.  If they need support, we assist them in getting there.

Had we labeled some of our super graduates at that critical juncture of their development, we would have been limiting them to what we believed they could do.  Instead, it is critical that children be able to help write their own scripts - to actively be engaged in stretching themselves. They need to know that their teachers believe in them and the expectations for everyone are the same.

As educators, we must be vigilant about not falling into the dangerous trap of labeling a child in terms of their potential.  As parents, we need to teach our children to be actively engaged in their own growth and development.  The Hebrew root of both teacher and parent is l’horot - to guide.  Let’s be mindful of our role in guiding our children in reaching their potential rather than choosing the path for them - to provide them with the confidence to become self advocates, ask good questions, and help write their own scripts in life...with a little help along the way!

That Bilingual Thing Really Works!

It is human nature to make judgments based on one’s own history and familiarities.

So it is no surprise that parents would base the quality of education on their own personal experiences.  It is understandable because that is what they know.

When presented with the possibility of a bilingual education for their children, many are intrigued by the opportunity, but are concerned that something will be sacrificed.

For parents who grew up with bilingual education in the home or the school, this is an easier choice with fewer concerns.

The classic question asked is, “How can you teach everything in half a day?”  And therein lies the catch because we know that learning takes place all day long.  The fact is that by having lessons taught in two languages, students are learning to apply rules and concepts to different settings, thereby actually enabling the brain to develop differently and into a more flexible mind. 

There are countless articles and lots of research supporting bilingual education (click on the link to learn more). One example of the benefits is that research shows that bilingual students outperform monolingual students on standardized tests, especially in the areas of math and expressive language  even when bilingual students receive less instructional math time.

In fact, it is only in America where the idea that one might speak in just one language has any traction. In many countries, second and third languages are taught as a matter of course.  It provides students with an understanding that we live in a global community in which one must come to understand other languages, history, and cultures.

Perhaps the simplest answer to whether bilingual education works is how a school’s graduates do in high school and college.  In my experience, graduates of bilingual programs are disproportionately represented in the ranks of leadership and scholarship as evidenced by the number who take multiple honors and AP classes; serve as officers in student government and youth groups; who are captains of varsity teams; and who receive National Merit recognition.

We assume that parents who are considering a bilingual program are mindful of the fact  that the world is changing and along with new realities comes new approaches to learning that are less focused on what we know and more focused on what needs to be known in a rapidly evolving global community.

And if you don't believe me, you can check out this article by the ultimate authority (besides the Supreme Being), The New York Times.